If God is Superman, Jesus is Spider-Man

Don’t know if there is an Emily Post rule about responding to a post with a post, but Prolix’s struck a chord. Before I spin off though, let me just say I met Greg Rucka and James Robinson at a comicon. Besides being great writers, they are both really cool humans!

At that same comicon, there was a geek band, Kirby Krackle, that did a song paying homage to Superman. “We’re counting on you to save us from a burning building. We’re counting on you to follow us into the night. We’re counting on you to pull us up when we are drowning.” That is the earworm that started playing in my head while reading Prolix’s piece. Musically, the song reminds me of the over-earnestness of “Christian pop” music. Maybe not that appealing, but it totally works. Superman is who you count on to take care of you in the DC universe. That is the role that God plays in many people’s lives in this universe. It is probably my biggest issue with organized religion, specifically Christianity. It makes life in this universe something to live through, not something to live. Going through hard times? Pray to God to make it better. Having health issues? Go down to the altar and be prayed over. “Hand it over to the Lord.” It makes it pretty darn easy, doesn’t it? You don’t have to start walking and eating vegetables to get your cholesterol down – just pray. If you have a heart attack and die? Well, it was the Lord’s will. He took you home because he couldn’t bear another day without you. You’re family that gets left behind? Well, if they are sad they should pray and they can be comforted knowing you are in a better place.

God is Superman. Swoop down. Fix this problem. I don’t have to worry. I don’t have to try to make my situation better because God’s got my back.

If I understand Prolix’s post correctly, it seems he is saying Superman gets boring because he is perfect. God can have that problem too sometimes. I think that might be why the Old Testament sticks around. It gives you the mean side of God and everyone knows that villains can be so much more interesting than good guys. Even with the surge of prosperity preachers saying God wants you to be rich and all you have to do is give them money and believe to be rich, you still have to have a little hell fire and brimstone to make it exciting. God may want you to be rich, but the flip side is that he will also send you to hell if you don’t go along.

So for Superman to be a really good comic, he needs to show a little vengeance, deal out some retribution. Superman needs to go all Old Testament on Lex Luther. “You ate shellfish mother@$*ker! Die!!!”

As for religion, it needs to be more Marvel Universe than DC Universe. Marvel superheroes have angst and imperfections. Christianity needs to lose its DC editors (I’m thinking Paul here) and give their superhero, Jesus, a restart. Joe Quesada could help them with this as he dialed Spider-man back to the beginning like magic. Jesus is way more interesting than Paul lets him be. He talked about bucking the establishment, doing away with all the unnecessary and meaningless rules imposed by the church, and living in the moment. He hung out with the unpopular crowd, the misfits, the prostitutes and tax collectors. See doesn’t that sound way more interesting?


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