At work recently I took a trip to a jobsite where a project of mine was underway. It was around 104 degrees on-site. There was not even a hint of a breeze. It was brutal. I found that you can watch men work for just so long in that heat before the mind begins to wander. On this day, my mind wandered away and I was left staring at a tree and devoid of much conscious thought at all. I didn’t realize I was staring at the tree until I began to pull out of it. I have no idea how much time passed. I was only aware of the episode when I noticed that I could see the tree with perfect clarity, while everything else around was out of focus. It was as if the tree was hurtling through space or time, and all that was left behind became a blur. However, I could see every detail of the tree. I noticed the scars on the bark from limbs long ago removed. I could see the green, almost waxy leaves with small pins at the tips. It was an enormous tree. Despite the oppressive heat the tree looked so healthy and alive. It seemed to be saying to me that no matter what, it could take it. It was still here.
I slowly became aware of my surroundings and pulled out of that meditative moment. Realizing where I was caused me to spin and look at the workers. They were all staring at me staring at the tree. Someone asked what I was doing and all I could muster was, “Just looking.” I have no idea what I was doing, or why for that matter. I just was.
Deciding that I had had all the heat that I wanted for the day, I hopped in the car and left. But before heading back, I decided to visit my birthplace and go by the cemetery there. In no time I was back at the place of my birth cruising a town I no longer knew. I know I was born there. I lived there for 20 odd years, yet nothing remained of my first ‘home’. I did not go there expecting great accolades and a parade to celebrate my return. I didn’t expect anything, and that’s what I got. Nothing stirred inside of me. I did not know this place. Nothing remained, not even the happiness. So I left. I went to the cemetery.
I go by the cemetery when I am down that way. I go to visit my parents’ graves and in short order, I am there. Slowly I navigated my way through the ever growing graveyard. It’s ironic that even the dead grow, so to speak. Finally, I rounded the last corner and headed down the home stretch towards mom and dad’s final resting place. Then I saw something. It was looking at me, gazing through the bitter heat. It was waiting on my return, but it was different now. It was big now. It was that damned tree; that scarred, proud tree marking the passage of time for those that care to notice. In an instant I was staring at that tree surrounded by a Gaussian blurred cemetery. This time, my mind was not lost in aimless wandering. It was active. It was fully conscious of everything.
When my father died in 1990, my brother planted a Pin Oak tree next to the grave. At planting, the tree was roughly as big as my thumb, I think. At my home when I was growing up there were several Pin Oaks that my father had planted. Those trees have significant meaning for my brother and me. In that vein, my brother planted one more tree for our father at the grave. That tree is no longer as big as my thumb. It’s much, much larger. Noticing that, I starting going through the mental calculations: 2008 minus 1990 equals 18! Eighteen? Eighteen years ago?? What? In my mind, my father is as alive today as he was 20 years ago. Yet this damn tree is telling me differently. Never in my life did I ever think a tree would be telling me what was no more; what never will be again. These sentinels of time standing proudly, mocking all the senseless scurrying of man, while they wait, wait, wait. They wait because they know you’ll be back.
Tough Questions
Tags: Meet the Press, Obama, World Tour
I was at work this morning, so I had to catch Senator Obama on Meet the Press via internet. (As a side note, I miss Tim Russert. He was one of the best.) Tom Brokaw asked tough questions. Good question. Many of us have bitched and moaned about the poor job the media did in the lead up to the Iraq war and in general over the last several year. Brokaw could not be accused of not trying to flesh out exact positions from Obama. Again, I will note my bias here. If you disagree, let me know. It seemed that he was doing his best to trip the Senator up. It seems that Obama’s World Tour was like chum in the water for sharks. The sharks didn’t get what they wanted, no big mistakes or faux pas. They are still hungry, gnashing at everything that floats by them. (Homage to shark week.) It seemed he answered everything except who his VP will be. The gauntlet continues.
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**The interview with Gore also on the site was interesting as well.